dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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