They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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