I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
