Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
