i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
