butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize