i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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