Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
