I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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