Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
