So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize