PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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