Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
