I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
