you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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