The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
