I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
