he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
