She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
