he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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