ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
