Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
