So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
