The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
