It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
