i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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