you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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