Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
