i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
