Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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