Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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