but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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