I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
