we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
