i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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