My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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