dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
