Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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