This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
