somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
