I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
organizing the empties. That sober.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
