YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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