my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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