On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
