Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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