If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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