i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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