If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
