I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
