Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
