I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
